This day is a special day to remember those who have gone before us. In some churches they display photos of parishioners or of family members or friends of parishioners. A day of remembrance within the community.

Grieving in a community can be healing, but often, the deepest grief is hidden from the community. While it is understood that someone is grieving after having lost a family member, it is often underestimated how much someone grieves for a close friend.
Family members who lose a loved one are often called, invited, supported by the people around them – while they are busy with organising the funeral and many other practical issues. The good friends of the deceased often don’t receive any attention and are facing a devastating void.

Losing an unborn child is also the source of grief that is not easily shared with the community. Often, the people around the couple don’t know about the pregnancy in the first place and if they do, they might think the loss is less severe as the child had not been born.

Most people would be grieving some time in their lives – some more often or more intensely than others.
Loss of opportunities, loss of dreams, loss of trust and loss of hope are also sources of grief.

How do we know that someone is grieving?  It is said that you can tell when their behaviour changes. However, we might not know the person well enough to recognise these signs.
If we live in a trusting community, we will know the struggles and joys of the members of this community. We will be alert and see the signs of grief and trauma, and only then will we be able to truly support one another.
We could start by saying: “How are you?” and really mean it…

BM

Psalm 10:14:
But you, God, see the trouble of the afflicted; you consider their grief and take it in hand. The victims commit themselves to you; you are the helper of the fatherless.